 "There are a lot of beliefs about the importance of forgiveness out there. I am not here to debate those beliefs or to say what is true or not true. What I would like to share is what I have seen to be important for survivors to truly heal from their experiences with abuse over the last decade, and that is the importance of self-forgiveness.
The levels of shame are extremely high with most victims of relational trauma. Survivors of sexual abuse, child abuse, and domestic violence share this in common. Shame permeates these survivors to their core, and when these ideas have been yelled at you over and over by the person who is supposed to love you more than anyone, it can feel cemented and permanent. This feeling of permanency of shame is just that, a feeling...not truth. Shame can decrease and dissipate over time with intention. And how can one take control over the timeline of this process? By practicing self-forgiveness." In her article for bizcatalyst360.com, Sybil Cummin, MA, LPC, ACS discusses the inverse relationship between shame and self-forgiveness. As you offer yourself more compassion and self-forgiveness, your levels of shame decrease. Read the full article here.
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 "If what is being mirrored back to you is a person worthy of love and respect, a reflection of your strengths and your greatness, you will likely agree and walk with your head held high. Ready to take on the world. If the people around you are reflecting something different, maybe it’s time to change who is around you.
Sounds easy. But what if the people you have around you say that they love you and that they will take care of you, but the reflection does not match? If you believe that you are unworthy and are broken based on what you see in the people around you every day, the idea of leaving and finding your new village of people where your greatness will be reflected seems impossible. In fact, you probably will take on the reflections you receive back to you as truth. That you are unworthy. That you are broken." In her article for bizcatalyst360.com, Sybil Cummin, MA, LPC, ACS, discusses the importance of surrounding yourself with a genuinely supportive inner circle -- people who will reflect and validate the best version of you -- when healing from a relationship of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse. Read the full article here. By Sybil Cummin, MA, LPC, AC  What?!?!?!
You’ve got to be kidding me?!?!?! My ex has won over and over again. No accountability. The smear campaigns and false allegations against me (even on the stand), and you are telling me to let him win?!?! If you are thinking that we can’t be friends anymore, let me explain. When you are going through a “high conflict” divorce with an abusive ex, I’m sorry to tell you that it is going to be a battle. A long one at that. And for most survivors of abuse, it feels like you are doing everything just to keep your head above water day in and day out. There is nothing fair about this situation. Nothing. So, what can you do to get to shallow enough water to stand up for yourself and your children?  “I have something that’s difficult to share and am wondering if you could sit with me and listen...”
Sharing your story of abuse can be extremely difficult, but doing so can be an integral part to finding the support you need to heal. In this PsychCentral article by Hilary I. Lebow and medically reviewed by Kendra Kubala, PsyD, Sybil Cummin, MA, LPC, ACS shares tips to testing the waters to opening up and sharing your story. Read the full article here. |
AuthorSybil Cummin, MA, LPC, ACS, is a Licensed Professional Counselor who specializes in working with victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse. Archives
December 2024
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