Ask Sybil

Each month, Sybil hosts a live Q&A Session where she answers any and all questions from Rising Beyond members.  Have a question?  Post it in the "Ask Sybil" area of the Forum, or email Sybil below.  If you can't make the live sessions, you can find the recordings listed on this page.  Please Note: All Q&A Sessions are scheduled for Mountain Standard Time (MST). Visit our community calendar for details.
Parenting Through Post Separation and Abuse: Fostering Connection and Resilience
​June 5, 2024
In this workshop:
  • Evidence-based strategies to empower you in moments of despair or exhaustion
  • Practical approaches to safeguard your child's well-being and nurture your connection
  • Downloadable Workbook
NEW Proactive and Prepared: A Documentation Workshop for When Divorcing a Narcissist
​November 3, 2023
In this workshop, we discuss:
  • What financial documents to have ready
  • How to base your documentation using the 11 factors of what the courts use to determine what is in the best interst of the children and the 8 factors regarding allocation of decision making.
  • Strategies to organize the information and minimize the amount of time spent documenting.
Communicate with Confidence: A Communication Workshop When Coparenting with a Narcissist
​​June 10, 2023
In this workshop, we discuss:
  • Regulate your nervous system in order to respond thoughtfully rather than react from a trauma response
  • Translate the words of a narcissist to identify how best to respond using actual examples of message exchanges
  • Refute the false narratives of your abusive ex through how you interact and respond while communicating with your ex in order to protect yourself and your children.

Live Question and Answer Sessions
December 19, 2024
Discussion topics include:
  • Referencing discussion on how to handle kids' feedback on having to see the other parent/follow court orders and how to teach kids discernment.
  • Holiday Greetings: RBPAC plans for the new year
November 21, 2024
Discussion topics include:
  • Specific Scenario: Ex superglued son's broken glasses, thus voiding the warranty on the glasses. How do I hold ex accountable/address him paying for new glasses?
  • How serious does a physical safety concern with a child need to be before the court removes parenting time from the abusive parent?
  • What are the consequences of withholding parenting time from the abusive parent?
  • How do I track medical/physical health neglect on the part of the abusive parent?
October 31, 2024
Discussion topics include:
  • How do you connect/communicate with school personnel to address how certain policies (mandatory class shirts, class photo order packets, etc.) impact kids with two (or more) homes?
  • How do you confront an attorney who has missed an important deadline? (Context: there is fear of being let go, the lawyer is giving you a financial deal, etc.)
  • Discussion on communication: how come people aren't "getting it" or understanding when I explain this to them?
September 26, 2024
Note: Due to technical difficulties, the majority of this video is audio only.
Discussion topics include:
  • How long and how in-depth do I need to document if I know I'll be out of court for a while?
  • Recommendations for best tools for documentation/coparenting apps.
  • How can I respond to a question in court that seeks to portray me in a poor light and/or misrepresent the truth?
  • Managing ex pushing boundaries with kids' phones and finding ways to see kids on your parenting time.
August 29, 2024
Discussion topics include:
  • What happens when Child Protective Services get involved? What is the process?
  • Do you still need a parenting plan if you have full decision making?
  • What language can you use when trying to explain the harm experienced by you and your children to people who are new in your case?
July 25, 2024
Discussion topics include:
  • How/how much do I share of my story of abuse with the court evaluator?
  • How do you get my family and friends to understand post-separation abuse?
  • Am I going to be "broken" forever? To what extent will I be permanently mentally and emotionally damaged from this experience?
June 27, 2024
Discussion topics include:
  • How much should I be sharing with a PRE or CFI?
  • Are there any resources to talking and healing with older children (18+)?
  • How can I move out of the self-doubt and shame spiral (examples: questioning every decision, blaming self, etc.
May 30, 2024
Discussion topics include:
  • What is the difference/Why does the narcissist have a "golden child" and a "scapegoat child"?
  • What can I do when my child is disrespectful, uses mimicry behavior, and aggression when I know it's their response to their situation, but I still need to set boundaries?
  • When is it safe to start speaking out and getting involved in advocacy?
April 26, 2024
Discussion topics include:
  • What can I do to sop my child from developing the fawning response?
  • Discussion on communication with attorneys. 
  • Are there any studies that show trauma can lead to increased memory of the event? When is memory considered reliable in children?
March 28, 2024
Discussion topics include:
  • What are some best practices when talking to your children about a new partner?
  • How can we collaborate with veterans?
  • Is it beneficial for the child to have therapy if the other parent wants to be involved?
  • How do you manage the moral injury of "playing the game" and not being your completely authentic self when talking to professionals/your children/anyone?
February 29, 2024
Discussion topics include:
  • What is currently happening in legislation and how can we get involved?
  • How can we manage pressure from the other parent on kids regarding activities/sports?
  • Talking to your kids about tech privacy as they get older.
  • How much and how to share with kids' therapists.
  • Can a parent remove consent for an IEP or 504 Plan?
January 25, 2024
Discussion topics include:
  • How do you support your aging/older children with their mental health when they're no longer minors but still experiencing the family dynamic?
  • How do you engage with child care providers as your children get older?
  • What do you do to help with the gaslighting and indoctrination of your children?
December 28, 2023
Discussion topic include:
  • What do you do when you think there should be a change to the parenting plan due to a change in circumstance; how do you go about this in a strategic way?
November 30, 2023
Discussion topics include:
  • What's the best way to present to a family evaluator? 
  • How do you address trauma that your child has experienced? What if their memory of incidents has shifted over time?
  • Discussion of having the abusive partner involved in child's therapy.
  • What to do when your child(ren) are not going to speak to anyone?
  • Discussion of Aimee Says AI app that recognize coercive control in communication, amongst other things
August 31, 2023
Discussion topics include:
  • How do you decide what "hill to die on" or when to put your foot down?
  • How can you use "down time" to recharge/rebuild your energy?
  • Joy vs. Gratitude
  • Coercive Control example and ways to handle it
July 27, 2023
Discussion topics include:
  • What do we tell our children when they do not want to go to the other parent's house for visitation?
  • How do we let go of anger? 
June 29, 2023
Discussion topics include:
  • How do I rebuild trust with people I already have relationships with or new people?
  • What is the best trauma treatment for survivors of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse?
May 25, 2023
Discussion topics include:
  • How is Artificial Intelligence (AI) in post-separation abuse and communication, and what are the pros and cons?
  • How do I start to live and enjoy my life after I've been involved in lengthy court battles/post separation, etc.? How do I not live in a constant state of hyper vigilance?
  • What percentage of kids who have been exposed to domestic violence in the home will experience it again as adults?
March 30, 2023
Discussion topics include:
  • What information is the best to share with the professionals working with your children?  
  • What are the best ways to manage behaviors when your child is mimicking the behaviors of the abusive parent?
  • What are ways we can help our children learn about healthy relationships without being in a healthy romantic relationship?
  • When the post separation abuse is over or winding down, what are the next steps to healing?
February 23, 2023
Discussion topics include:
  • How can I get involved in legislation, change, and advocacy?
  • What do you mean by a "perceived win" in court?
  • What does the healing journey look like, especially during a long, dragged-out process?
  • How do I gear up or where do I put my energy during the "slow" times?
  • Discussion of Narcissism v. Sociopathy
January 26, 2023
Discussion topics include:
  • How do you manage anxiety/extreme fear, or have the confidence to ruffle feathers in the court case, when you're worried about your child's safety?
  • How do you communicate with your attorney (or therapist, mediator, friend, or family) who doesn't understand why?
  • Discussion of the acute and long-term emotional, physical, and mental health effects of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse
December 15, 2022
Discussion topics include:
  • When your child needs mental health and/or other support, how can you go about getting this help without getting in trouble with the court, your ex, or getting your child in trouble? How do you share this intention with your co-parent without your co-parent using this against you?
  • How do you alert your child's mental health support team of what is actually goin on with your ex, without coming across as the high-conflict parent or like you are throwing you co-parent under the bus?
  • How do you stay regulated when reading/hearing the false narrative your ex is presenting about you?
  • How do you regulate/decrease your hypervigilance when meeting/dating new people, after being harmed so much?
  • Discussion of cognitive dissidence (he's my soulmate v. extremely fearful of him) 
November 17, 2022
Discussion topics include:
  • Anger - When we feel safe, we allow ourselves to feel angry.  But this can be an uncomfortable emotion. Is it harmful to be angry? How can we use anger in the healing process?
  • What is [proper] Reunification Therapy, and what are Reunification Camps?
October 27, 2022
Discussion topics include:
  • When will my ex start respecting my boundaries? 
  • General discussion of boundaries.  
August 25, 2022
Discussion topics include:
  • What are some mantras I can repeat when I want to go off on my ex in response to an email in our parenting app?
  • How can  I walk the line of sharing information with my child's therapist without it being labeled as parental alienation, coaching, or that there is bias in my relationship with the therapist?
  • How can I document bad mouthing?
  • How do I distinguish between the fawning trauma response and me just being cooperative?
July 28, 2022
Discussion topics include:
  • How long do divorce/custody cases typically last when domestic violence/narcissistic abuse is involved?  How do I manage during this?
  • If a former partner has gone to treatment or court-ordered courses, will the partner change?
May 26, 2022
Discussion topics include:
  • What are some tips/advice for speaking with a court evaluator?
  • Doesn't leaving my partner make me as bad as the people who left me when I was struggling or in a really hard place?
  • How can I get these repetitive, intrusive thoughts out of my head so I can sleep?
April 28, 2022
Discussion topics include:
  • Communication: How to communicate with your ex, your child's therapist, your children when they ask questions about your ex.
  • Parallel Parenting v. Coparenting; How will Parallel Parenting be looked at by the court?
  • Providing empathy with boundaries
  • How would you suggest mutual friends respond to being asked to be a reference for your ex?
March 31, 2022
Discussion topics include:
  • Could my obsessive cleaning be linked to my trauma?
  • How do I respond when a lawyer/therapist/professional says, "Why didn't you tell me about that?!"
  • Assertiveness: How to get your needs met in a way that feels good to you no matter the outcome.​
January 27, 2022
Discussion topics include:
  • How do you trust when someone (friends or family members) say they have the same values as you?  What are the signs when meeting new people that their values are similar or different to yours?
  • Why would opposing council say that you are the one who is abusive when they have zero evidence to prove this?
  • How do I prepare for a PRE?
  • How do I start managing my cognitive dissonance? 
December 31, 2021
Discussion topics include:
  • What is the level of abuse or negative behavior done by the ex or co-parent to the kids that would require a profession/non-mandated reporter to call Child Protective Services or the police?
  • What are some things I can do when I feel like I'm living in limbo?
  • How much court documentation is too much?  I'm driving myself crazy!
November 23, 2021
Discussion topics include:
  • How can I share the family video to my family if I have recently come to realize that there were elements of power and control used in my family of origin?
  • Do you have any tips to calm myself down when having to deal with the constant emails from my Nex?
  • What are the best ways to present to a PRE or CFI?
October 28, 2021
Discussion topics include:
  • How to use the online forum
  • How do I get my family to understand my experience?
  • What is the most important thing(s) to document when in a custody battle?
  • How do I talk to my kids about what's going on?​

Videos

Here we will post informational videos from Sybil and the rest of the Rising Beyond team to help survivors and their inner circles nurture support and healing.  
You Can Help: Understanding Domestic Violence in Order to Offer Your Support
In this video, Sybil provides an overview of Domestic Violence, including common myths and misperceptions, to educate loved ones of victims on the experience of Domestic Violence and Narcissistic Abuse.  She also provide 8 tips on how to best provide support in for loved ones healing from abuse.  

One-on-One Coaching Sessions

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As a member of the Group Support Membership, you have access to one-on-one sessions with a Rising Beyond Team Member at an additional cost.  If you have a specific situation that you would like some tailored support and strategies for, a one-on-one session may be a good fit.  These sessions are 50 minutes and structured to meet your goals.

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Please take time to read our Disclaimer. The content on this website is meant for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended to substitute medical or mental health diagnosis or treatment. Rising Beyond Power and Control also differentiates between coaching services and counseling services. You can read our full Disclaimer here.
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