"If what is being mirrored back to you is a person worthy of love and respect, a reflection of your strengths and your greatness, you will likely agree and walk with your head held high. Ready to take on the world. If the people around you are reflecting something different, maybe it’s time to change who is around you. Sounds easy. But what if the people you have around you say that they love you and that they will take care of you, but the reflection does not match? If you believe that you are unworthy and are broken based on what you see in the people around you every day, the idea of leaving and finding your new village of people where your greatness will be reflected seems impossible. In fact, you probably will take on the reflections you receive back to you as truth. That you are unworthy. That you are broken." In her article for bizcatalyst360.com, Sybil Cummin, MA, LPC, ACS, discusses the importance of surrounding yourself with a genuinely supportive inner circle -- people who will reflect and validate the best version of you -- when healing from a relationship of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse. Read the full article here.
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By Sybil Cummin, MA, LPC, AC What?!?!?! You’ve got to be kidding me?!?!?! My ex has won over and over again. No accountability. The smear campaigns and false allegations against me (even on the stand), and you are telling me to let him win?!?! If you are thinking that we can’t be friends anymore, let me explain. When you are going through a “high conflict” divorce with an abusive ex, I’m sorry to tell you that it is going to be a battle. A long one at that. And for most survivors of abuse, it feels like you are doing everything just to keep your head above water day in and day out. There is nothing fair about this situation. Nothing. So, what can you do to get to shallow enough water to stand up for yourself and your children? By Sybil Cummin, MA, LPC, ACS Note: While the statistics show that males perpetrate violence towards females at a much higher rate, women can also perpetrate domestic violence. While our family court systems say their decisions are based on the best interests of the children, the evidence proves otherwise. Research suggests that in an estimated 30 to 60 percent of the families where domestic violence is identified, some form of co-occurring child maltreatment is also present (Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia Center for Injury Research and Prevention). One North American study found that children who were exposed to domestic violence were 15 times more likely to be physically and/or sexually abused than the national average (Volpe, 1996). And yet, domestic violence is not a major factor in determining who has access to unsupervised time with the children. I have several clients who have shared that attorneys have told them NOT to say anything about their experiences of domestic violence during family court proceedings as there are typically WORSE outcomes regarding parenting time and decision making for those who report the violence they have experienced. And as I talk with other professionals working with victims of domestic violence, this is not a small issue that is isolated to my community. Talking about domestic violence is considered the “kiss of death” by many family court attorneys. |
AuthorSybil Cummin, MA, LPC, ACS, is a Licensed Professional Counselor who specializes in working with victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse. Archives
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